A note for my next lover

Hi Well.. I am really choosy. I look totally different from how I look outside and in the house. I like rock and metal(yeah, you should too Short.................. Are you an artist or musician? If so, then so am I. Very importantly, I am most probably gonna devote to my career instead and hopefully you too. I can't handle emotions, I am really bad at it. One minor thing will fuck up the entire day or the entire relationship. So please treat me well.... I get jealous too. Well, I like to snuggle under the blanket and smell you. It would feels like forever. BUT then again I would be tempted to lead an ordinary life and settle down which is not what I want. I will go wherever my career takes me to. I ALWAYS ALWAYS compare. Yea annoying but fuck hahhhhh. Will you still love me?

Self-harming

I am so so so so mad because of a thoughtless tweet I saw online.

She tweeted something like(i edited what she really posted but it has the same meaning) 'don't just scratch a little and then upload it online. Only post it when you've cut till your hand comes off .'

THE SARCASM IS NOT EVEN FUNNY. HAVE YOU BEEN IN A CUTTER'S SHOE BEFORE?

ONCE YOU'RE IN, IT'S NOT EASY TO GET OUT OF IT. 

A cutting addiction can start with just a small slit. It's not about the size, the amount of slits you did or how fucking deep is it(well it does matter but that's not the main point now) -- it's the thought; the urge to harm yourself when you can't cope with your emotions. You shouldn't make fun just because the young girl 'scratch' her wrist only. 

When she is sad, means she's sad. Don't compare who's sadder than who, who's suffering more than who. Don't compare her 'scratched' wrist with those with scarred wrist.

I do not understand how on earth does it even anger some people enough to tweet about it? Shouldn't some people be glad that the young girl is only harming herself a little instead of looking at an arm that's profusely bleeding?

Maybe some people haven't slit themselves before and if you did, you'd probably would know how fucking miserable you must have felt to make you cut. Or maybe they did but managed to get out of it before they start to rely on it and it becomes their own coping mechanism. 

And slitting falls under:

• Self-Harming: physically damaging the body

THEN YOU KNOW WHAT. If it continues, some people not even SLIT. 

"The most common form of self-harm is skin-cutting but self-harm also covers a wide range of behaviors including, but not limited to, burning, scratching, banging or hitting body parts, interfering with wound healing, hair-pulling (trichotillomania) and the ingestion of toxic substances or objects." - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

You people only know HOW TO FUCKING START TO CARE when a person's life is lost. I don't even know if it's 'care' or it's just a feeling we were brought up to have when someone dies since we were young. 

If you still think that a small cut is funny then just keep it to yourself? Why must you tell the world? What are you trying to accomplish by doing that?

There are thousands of people in the world who self harms and most of them probably start with just a small cut. Then, they ended up getting teased, their friends leave them -- and they got the perfect scenario to start cutting. Of course, there are many reasons why people cut. 

(The above 3 images are from: http://selbstverletzen.tumblr.com/)

A post by a tumblr user: Click Here

 This might be gory for some people: Click Here

SO IS YOUR JOKE FUNNY NOW?

See the seriousness of cutting. 

For those who have never cut or is recovering, please do not ever try or hurt yourself again. Although I think using self-harming as a coping mechanism in life is fine I still do not encourage it as it might lead to an addiction. For those who are addicted in cutting, please remember someone out there loves you. Learn to forgive yourself and I promise you will be happy one day.

Don't be ashamed of your scars. They represent the battles you've fought with yourself. They are your scars, no one has the rights to make fun.

1# Don't ever say cutters cut themselves to seek for mother fucking attention.
- Cutters ALSO HAVE A FUCKING WORKING BRAIN. HELLO. We know how fucking well that this world judges. We know there are bound to be some fucktards around us who would make fun of us. WE FUCKING KNOW. We know it yet we still do it. WHY? Obviously we have our own problems that's why we cut.

2# Don't call us emo/freaks/losers.
-What? So you want to take fucking responsibility for what you say? Since you dared to call me names, I dare you to fight for me in my place.WELL, if you don't plan to fight for me then jolly well GET THE FUCK OFF. We have a name and better yet, we even share the same fucking liquid inside. So are you a freak too?

WHY CUTTERS CUT

(Based on my experience or whatever urgh.)

We feel alone. We let the negative thoughts eat us up alive especially during the night. We over-think a lot. We feel that we are underserving and trust me, we are not seeking attention at all. We feel that we don't deserve to be loved and cared. We feel very lonely. We hate ourselves that we are not perfect and disappoint others(even the slightest thing). The bad thoughts slowly piles up and we're pretty much convinced we are underserving.

TRUTH

(Also based on my experience or whatever..)

We don't need much. We just want to be loved ... But it's not easy. We are afraid to open up, we are terrified to bits that people wouldn't see us the way they did before. We want people to embrace the ugliness that we gave into and tell us that actually we are not underserving at all. 

Semi Colon Project 416

The Semi Colon Project 416 occurs on the 16th of April every year. 

*During this day, people draw a semi-colon on their wrist to show that, "If you are sad, depresssed, going through a broken heart, suffering with self harm, has anxiety, etc. Draw a semicolon on your wrist or arm. A semicolon is used when the author could have ended the story, but didn't. You are the author, don't end your story"

Click here to see images of it

Self-injury Awareness Day

Also known as SIAD. SIAD happens on the 1st of March ever year. 

*It is to raise awareness about self-harm and self-injury. During that day, people would wear orange ribbon, draw butterfly/butterflies 'LOVE' on their wrist. 

Click here to see images of it

0701 Project

The 0701 Project is a day where on the 1st of July of every year.

*People draw an arrow pointing up on their wrist to show support to people who self-harms, is suicidal or has committed suicide. Add an 'x' below the arrow to show that you've self-harmed/committed suicide before. It is to show that they are not alone.

Click here to see images of it

---

I'm saying this all because if you've someone you truly care about who is suffering from self-harming, please spend time to hear them out. Talk to them. Be patient! They'll open up when they are comfortable. They'll be touched by your sincerity :) you might not know it but yep you've just saved somebody's life. 

I'm not asking everyone of you who've read this to changed 360 degree immediately.. maybe if one day you chance upon a precious person who is suffering, you'd understand better.

If you are struggling or have any questions, feel very free to talk/ask anonymously on my formspring. 

What have I been up to during the holidays

1# PAINTING AND DRAWING

Yup. it's an attempt of painting myself.. i gave it up in the end but will definitely continue it someday..

The main reason why i stopped was because the proportion is really bad(YES i am extremely bad with proportion)

Close-up

 Geisha drawing. Supposedly a tattoo design for a friend but... you know.. tattooing and stuffs take time for people to decide.

 An eye charcoal drawing. The drawing on the right and bottom right is not mine.

 Close up :3

 A work for a friend. Still incomplete.

For more of my latest(or old) works, you can follow me on instagram @huiyiyayo (http://instagram.com/huiyiyayo) and for any request(s) or enquiries, do drop me an email at huiyiyayo@hotmail.com 

Of course you can comment at any of my insta pictures so i'll notice them faster!

2# HAIRSTYLE

Previous hairstyle

 My fringe were about 3cm long below my chin so i can easily push them aside

Current hairstyle

TA-DAH. I switched to the 'emo', 'scene', 'punk' hairstyle.

Yep the little mark under my eye is a star. I drew it on myself hahaha.

YES OR NO? :)

 meows

3# MY SEPTUM PIERCED 

YES, it hurts. A LOT. 

If my venom tongue piercing was on a scale of 3.5/10, this one is about a 7.5/10! 

Other than this 3 main events, i have pretty much gained weight, watching animes, reading manga, slacking and chill and smoked hell lots of cigarettes. Ah, what an unhealthy lifestyle. School is starting in 5 more days and the old passionate me will be back (smiles widely). 

Lasalle - drawing module

HI ALL.

Yes, first 2 term of school has ended. Heck! The amount of workload is pretty scary. Manageable only if you've got good time management and dedication.

Sooooo my class is pretty good I guess. There's a mega-talented Japanese & Vietnamese, 2 Indonesians, 1 Taiwanese, 1 from Hong Kong and 2 from China. The rest are Singaporeans. That pretty much sums up my class.

I skipped many many many classes like hell due to emotional stress(LOL, let's just stick with that) and a tint of laziness. I got the lowest for grey matter(GM), a module in lasalle, scoring only 14/100. Well actually, I didn't even attend a single GM class during term 2. fuck me right and getting a 14 is too already too good to be true, plus Michelle, our lecturer even vaguely remembered which lessons i attended during term 1 tho she hasn't seen me for weeks and plus I;m pretty much an introvert, so I'm really surprised she remembered.

Out of 5 days of school, 4 of them starts in the morning & I REALLY hate waking up early. Why? Because I'd be freezing while bathing, had to squeeze into  the mother fucking packed train. urgh. so yes, this is the few reasons why I skipped lessons so much. (lolol weak excuses)

The very first module I'll be sharing is DRAWING!

Contour drawing - Still life

'Contour drawing, is an artistic technique used in the field of art in which the artist sketches the contour of a subject by drawing lines that result in a drawing that is essentially an outline; theFrench word contour meaning, “outline.”' (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contour_drawing)
(size - A2)

This work will probably be the best out of the rest you'd see. HAHA I was motivated to go to school in the beginning!!

Our homework~

Contour Drawing - Outdoor & Indoor

(size - A2)

Incompleted outdoor work. We had to do these outside school. NO rulers ok :( I hate it when rulers are banned because when it comes to drawing straight lines, I am a die-hard perfectionist(only if I want to) and it irks me every time the lines aren't perfectly straight. So it explains why I chose not to complete this work ahaha.

My plain room. Incompleted also because I wanna sleep. (Zzz) 

Cross Contour Drawing

'Cross-contours look like the contour lines on a map of rough terrain - they help us visualize the topography of a surface. Usually, we don't draw them this mechanically, but use the understanding of cross-contours to help us describe the form with more subtle line or shading.' 

(Source: http://drawsketch.about.com/od/drawinglessonsandtips/ss/crosscontour_2.htm)

(size - A2)

I did the work the day before final-assessment. I was sitting in ffront of the computer and I realised I still haven'd complete my cross-contour assignment so I really quickly drew this out (yes with ruler for some areas). If you look closely at the keyboard and modem, you'd see I was pretty much running out of patience and the lines are funnily fucked up hahahaha.

Supposed to be done in schooo but I skipped class lol! so iit was done at home.

Proportion

'Proportion is a principle of art that describes the size, location or amount of one element to another (or to the whole) in a work. It has a great deal to do with the overall hamrony of an individual piece.'

(Source: http://arthistory.about.com/cs/glossaries/g/p_proportion.htm)

(size - A2)

I DISLIKE doing proportion so much. argh plus my stupid perfectionist habit is acting up again.

This work drove my MAD. NO RULERS OK. I ALMOST DIED. Worst part of all is that after I've completed this work, I realised we can actually use ruler to draw this out...

Foreshortening
'Foreshortening is a technique used in perspective to create the illusion of an object receding strongly into the distance or background.'
(Source: http://painting.about.com/od/artglossaryf/g/defforeshorten.htm)

(size - A2)

My mommie. 

My mommie again. Can you guys actually guess what's the object on the right? LOL, one of my classmate actually know what the shit was it. It's a powder container HAHA. I drew that because at the very last minute I found out we needed draw an object too so yea.... powder... ha ha ha

Proportion - Figure Drawing

(size - A2)

my classmate Harif, or is it Harith?

Abi~ apparently I drew her way too skinny(tho she is skinny in real)

Krissalyn~ The seat of the chair is way too big LOL

Gesture Drawing

'Gesture drawing is work of art defined by rapid execution. Typical situations involve an artist drawing a series of poses taken by a model in a short amount of time, often as little as 30 seconds, or as long as 2 minutes.'
(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gesture_drawing)

(size - A2)

Julian~ 

I did this at the library. Ft. some guy in the library & Vera. hehe

Drew both of this guy in the library also. Li hai leh~

Yessss, the girl on the left is me LOL i got bored of drawing peope in the library so I search some pictures in my phone to draw it. The little guy on the right is Vera's newphew hhaahaha, it was in my phone also(I didnt realise it at all!)

The guy on the right is Chervin LOL. I have also no idea why is his picture in my phone. The girl on the rigt is some model I googled :x

Taylor Momsen, girl in library and Cuzzie faith hehe.

Perspective

'Perspective Drawing is a technique used to represent three-dimensional images on a two-dimensional picture plane. In our series of lessons on perspective drawing we explain the various methods of constructing an image with perspective and show how these are used by artists and illustrators.'

(Source: http://www.artyfactory.com/perspective_drawing/perspective_index.html)

(size - A3, A3, A2, A2)

First, I would like to thank Julian SO MUCH for teaching me about perspective, ya because I skipped tons of lessons(remember?) Secondly, we were allowed to use rulers!! God bless my perfectionist habit from acting up lololol.

Yup! That's all for the drawings on drawing blocks. Next up I will be sharing my drawing sketchbook(which is empty as compared to others.)

Drawing from what you see, not what you know

This was the very first exercise. We were told to draw out this picture of an old man upside-down(means the image is upside down, and we have to draw what the picture shows). Not allowed to flip it or erase. 

From this exercise, we'll learn basically what the title says. 'Draw from what you see instead of what you know.' Rely on what you see, not what your brain tells you how it looks like. It tests your eye-hand coordination. It seems easy but no!

LOL, so this is how mine looked like after I flipped it.. ha ha ha

Blind Drawing

Blind drawing is where you draw an object WITHOUT looking at the paper so all this while, you are only looking at the object while your hand draws it. 

I admitted for the picture at the most left I peeped twice. HAHAHA can't help it, so frustrating that I couldn't see what I was drawing... :<

Blind drawing for my glasses^.

Contour drawing for my glasses^

Blind drawing of comb, was pretty easy~

Blind drawing for trophy~

Blind drawing for my watch~

Contour drawing for my watch~

soooo THAT'S IT. Thanks for reading~ The rest of the pages are researches, pretty sure no one is interested in it. I'll be sharing my 2D & 3D together in a post next time soon. 

For those who are considering to enter Lasalle, good luck >:)

PS if you're gonna use my works for any ANY reason, please let me email me at: sickpony95@hotmail.com and credit my blog link on wherever you're gonna use it for/at. Thanks & much love :*